NEWS FLASH HOLLYWOOD: When you’re pregnant you gain weight!

The concept of pregnancy these days seems to be blowing the minds of celebrity gossip writers everywhere!

BREAKING NEWS: When you’re pregnant, you gain weight- there is a person in there. When you’re pregnant, your hormones change and you may grow some whiskers (no big deal). When you’re pregnant, you will bloat and your breasts will swell to an unusual size!

Women have been having babies since the beginning of humanity, have they not? Did I miss something? I think we all took sex-ed, right? Or maybe people do know that these things happen, but only to “normal” women- not celebrities. No, they aren’t normal, their bodies are super human and defy the laws of nature. Those who show weakness and succumb to hormones are just not worthy of praise. In fact, they should be constantly ridiculed, yes, ridiculed!

Take for instance Kim Kardashian, I don’t even like her, but I have to come to her defense on this one. On every cover of every magazine, she is labeled as “fat”, ummmm she’s pregnant! Granted, some women are genetically blessed like Kate Middleton, but she is not the norm by any means for pregnant women. Or take Drew Barrymore, who recently revealed that she grew facial hair during her pregnancy. She jokingly called it a “goatee”, so the headline naturally read “Drew Barrymore Grew a Beard When She was Pregnant”….but I assure you, they were probably just a few stray hairs here and there.

Seriously folks, I fear for any young actress today who wants to have kids. How painful it must be to be perceived as a sexual icon, to then become pregnant and have to deal with your own private issues and transitions, just for the tabloids to splash “fat” pictures of you all over the Internet and probably drive you to tears! (Which I’m sure they do)

And God help you if you give birth and don’t lose the baby weight overnight so you can be on the cover of People Magazine where you can flaunt your post-baby body and diet secrets!

And the pressure for models is even greater, but their bodies are their jobs, so I see the urgency I suppose. But I thought an actors job was to act? When did actors also become models? When did being rail thin mean you were more likely to win an Oscar? It doesn’t!

Drew Barrymore:

Kim Kardashian: