If you didn’t watch The Oscars, here’s what you missed and what you’ll hear about for the next 7-10 days!
- Jennifer Lawrence won Best Actress… and fell on her way up the steps (but looked really good doing it)
- Quentin Tarantino won Best Screenplay… which I’m sure was a big F-U for the overly sensitive critics of Django Unchained
- Ben and George are the new Ben and Matt
- Michelle Obama has bangs, still
- Oh yeah, Michelle Obama also presented Best Picture with Jack Nicholson via satellite (she may have been scared good ol’ Jack was gonna pull an Adrien Brody)
- Life of Pi won the most awards for a movie no one saw in the U.S.
- Renee Zellweger can’t read apparently
- Kristen Stewart looked stoned (and was sporting a fashionable bruise on her arm)
- Halle Berry and Charlize Theron mysteriously don’t age
- John Travolta screwed up the pronunciation of Les Misérables…even though the title had been mentioned a dozen times before
- ‘We saw your boobs’ was the best thing Seth Macfarlane did last night
- Some critics thought Macfarlane’s jokes were too offensive…apparently they’ve never seen ‘Family Guy’, ‘Ted’, or anything else he’s ever done
- Anne Hathaway won Best Supporting Actress…and apparently no one knew she had nipples until last night (I always knew!)
- Jennifer Hudson can sing really, really well…apparently no one knew that until last night either
- Daniel Day-Lewis is now officially the best actor that ever lived
2 thoughts on “Everything You’re Going to Hear About The Oscars…(so save yourself some time)”
Call me crazy… yes Hudson can really sing, but does she really need to scream every single word???
I thought Adele was better myself, but I guarantee Hudson is going to outshine her in the Oscar recaps.