If you didn’t watch The Oscars, here’s what you missed and what you’ll hear about for the next 7-10 days!
- Jennifer Lawrence won Best Actress… and fell on her way up the steps (but looked really good doing it)
- Quentin Tarantino won Best Screenplay… which I’m sure was a big F-U for the overly sensitive critics of Django Unchained
- Ben and George are the new Ben and Matt
- Michelle Obama has bangs, still
- Oh yeah, Michelle Obama also presented Best Picture with Jack Nicholson via satellite (she may have been scared good ol’ Jack was gonna pull an Adrien Brody)
- Life of Pi won the most awards for a movie no one saw in the U.S.
- Renee Zellweger can’t read apparently
- Kristen Stewart looked stoned (and was sporting a fashionable bruise on her arm)
- Halle Berry and Charlize Theron mysteriously don’t age
- John Travolta screwed up the pronunciation of Les Misérables…even though the title had been mentioned a dozen times before
- ‘We saw your boobs’ was the best thing Seth Macfarlane did last night
- Some critics thought Macfarlane’s jokes were too offensive…apparently they’ve never seen ‘Family Guy’, ‘Ted’, or anything else he’s ever done
- Anne Hathaway won Best Supporting Actress…and apparently no one knew she had nipples until last night (I always knew!)
- Jennifer Hudson can sing really, really well…apparently no one knew that until last night either
- Daniel Day-Lewis is now officially the best actor that ever lived
Carmen Zita says... 