7 Signs She’s Emotionally High Maintenance

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m reviving my blog and spreading some dating advise for all you single-and-ready-to-mingle guys out there. You may be looking for love or just starting out with your beau, either way, knowing these 7 signs will come in handy at some point. To be clear, this list is not to put down girls that need to be told “I love you” a little more than the rest, because I am the worst offender for this! But know that if the girl you are with meets these criteria, you better be damn sure you can handle her!

So first thing to note, your emotionally high maintenance lady friend may seem really cool and totally manageable at first (unless she’s psycho emotional, then you’ll know immediately). She won’t be the type of girl that needs five star dinners and bling, she’ll genuinely appreciate the little things – like surprising her with a can of Mr.Pibb because you remember she said she liked those once. This will make her seem low maintenance, which you will love (at first), until you realize it’s more than free soda she’s interested in…she actually wants your LOVE! Dun, dun, duuuunnnn…

So let’s get to it! Here are the 7 signs she’s emotionally high maintenance:

1. She can laugh at herself (a little too much).
When you tell her she looks nice in a dress and she replies, “Well I decided dresses were more comfortable than jeans because I have a big butt.” That’s called self deprecating humor, which is great, and usually funny- but also means if she does it too much, she’s not really joking.

2. She can’t take a compliment. 
Every time you tell her she’s beautiful, she replies “no I’m not,” which means she needs you to come back with a follow up compliment that’s even better like, “you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen” in order for her to believe you.

3. She requires a card to go along with all her gifts. 
If you buy her one of those over priced Pandora bracelets, sure she’ll love the bracelet, but where’s the card? The card is filled with the words that express the feelings that reaffirm the relationship. She really just wants you to write down all the gushy stuff you can’t muster the guts to say to her out loud (cuz you’re a dude and stuff). The card is the real gift.

4. If she stares at you longingly after you’ve just seen an epic romcom scene.
Okay, this means she’s thinking one of two things. The first is, “why can’t you be more like him?” OR “I hope this is giving you ideas…” Either thought is emotionally driven.

5. Six months into dating, she refers back to the cutsie text messages you used to send her when you first started dating, and asks why you don’t flirt like that anymore.
It’s not always true about relationships, but it is common that after a while that sweet “you hang up”, “no, you hang up” stage starts to fade, and text messages are sent on an informational level like “I’m on my way, what do you want to eat?” versus ,”Can’t wait to see you tonight cuddlebear ; ) xoxo” and all that other stuff. (Oh by the way, did anyone catch the phone reference I made? Couples actually used to TALK on the phone….anyway, moving on.)

6. Once a month she’s a little cray, cray!
PMS is not a myth, however, it effects every woman differently. Some are moody, others have cramps, headaches, etc.  But then there are the already emotional girls who just go bonkers! I know what I’m talking about here, I am berserker around this time! You’re emotionally high maintenance girl will seem almost bipolar, except for the fact that her crazy correlates with a very specific event. She will love you for half the day, hate you for an hour, then really really want a hug later.

7. She LOVES Surprises!
Like not modestly, she really loves surprises. Any kind of surprise will send this type of girl reeling. Because every surprise- big or small- means you thought of her that day.

If you’re the kind of guy that can handle this sort of thing, then you’re golden. Your emotionally high maintenance GF will treat you like a king if you just show her that you care, a lot. If at any time while reading this, you thought to yourself, “a girl like this is f***ing crazy!” then watch for these signs, and thank me later. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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My Love/Hate Relationship with Lena Dunham

lena dunhamThe new queen of indie is without a doubt Ms. Lena Dunham, and although most agree she’s very talented, I don’t completely agree she’s the ‘voice’ of my generation. Maybe it’s because I don’t get the indie movement, I don’t wear ill-fitted clothing, and I don’t listen to Tegan and Sara, but I find her interpretation of twenty-somethings a bit off.

Let’s start with the Pros. I love that she’s become a pioneer for the average looking woman, or at least the woman that doesn’t have the traditional shape. She took a page out of Jason Segel’s book, and wrote a leading role for herself (which would otherwise not have happened). For someone who is considered “normal” weight in the real world but “fat” for Hollywood, I appreciate her trying to break the mold. She also appears to be a genuine person, appears to be, I don’t like to make claims about people I don’t know personally- but I’m sure we could be friends.

The Cons. When I saw the trailer for her much anticipated show, “Girls”, I immediately set my DVR to record (knowing this was not going to be a show for my boyfriend to enjoy with me). The first episode was cool, she touched upon some very relevant issues like the struggles of getting a job and paying rent. However, she portrayed a person, who despite being in her mid 20’s, was very dependent on her parents-implying a privileged upbringing. I understand the age of dependancy has increased with the economy and all, but even those who still live with their parents tend to work and make some kind of living. Lena’s character was just an intern who lived with a roommate, but whose rent was being paid by her parents. She could have waitressed and still have been an intern- but at least there would be some effort to become independent.

That’s one issue I had with the show. The other, which has been the center of criticism, was the nudity. Like I said, I’m a normal girl, and I can appreciate a girl who is comfortable with her ‘normal’ body- I admire it even. I applauded the nudity in the first episode, then it was in the second, and then the third came….and that was about it for me. The point was made, it was refreshing, then it was enough.

I have not continued to watch the show, partially because of the nudity, but also because I don’t relate to the four female characters Lena has created. They all seem to come from upper middle-class families and each character is an extreme of something- Hannah is super indie, hipster, thinker, with odd clothing, Marnie is very vanilla, logical, a semi kill-joy, Jessa is the foreign one- which to the show means she’s the most interesting and the most promiscuous, and Shos is ultra nerdy, sheltered, and virginal. This is just my perception after a few episodes, hopefully these characters have evolved since. Nevertheless, I would probably still not get into it.

My twenties consisted of going to school, working very hard, and pushing to be 100% independent from anyone (mission accomplished by the way). I also didn’t find my twenties as promiscuous or weird- maybe they could have been, but I found dating and finding someone attractive a lot more difficult than “Girls” makes it.

I still applaud you Lena, you’re paving the way for normal people to get naked (in moderation though).

PS. I hope we can still be friends.

Oh Valentine’s Day…

Valentine's Day_92960689

Should it be called “girlfriend’s day”? Probably. Is it a made up holiday? Sure! But so is Christmas! And no one boycotts that.

Men all over the world today will be standing their ground and refusing to give in to this “Hallmark Holiday”, and to that I say, “screw you”.
We all know it’s a BS occasion, and if you love someone then everyday should be Valentine’s Day….but it’s not, so get over it.

Just accept the gift that society has given you to show your girlfriend or wife that you have a thoughtful bone in your body. Let’s face it, women love romance. All women (period).

So go out there, score some points for the year, and buy the one you love some damn chocolate and flowers. Hell! Throw in a card if you really want to impress her. If you don’t know what to write, Google a poem, she’ll appreciate the effort!